Day 10

Looking over my posting yesterday I can’t help but feel that its a little bit pathetic.  Unfortunately, I’m afraid today’s blog might move on from self-pity to bitterness.  I’m finding it really hard to be positive about things today.  Some setbacks happened today on my search for a “real” job, and I’m just so sick and tired of things not working out.  I know in the grand scheme of things that I am an incredibly lucky individual (I’ve even thought of getting a tattoo to that effect as a reminder), but I really need things to just go my way right now.

It probably doesn’t help that I stayed up until 4 am today reading a Julia Quinn romance novel.  The book had a really disturbing plot twist where, *SPOILER ALERT*, the heroine basically tricks the hero into impregnating her after he explicitly says he does not want children.  Of course it all works out in the end.  That bugs me.  The author treated her heroine’s transgression way too lightly.  

The whole situation makes me think of two similar examples from recent popular culture, except the roles are reversed.  One is from the movie Blue Valentine (not good, don’t waste your time) where the female lead character gets pregnant by her boyfriend after he refuses to pull out.  The second is with the Julian Assange case, where he is accused of initiating sex with a sleeping woman and purposely damaging his condom or taking it off against his partners’ wishes.  

I am fully supportive of women’s reproductive rights and the right to choose.  The idea of a man doing something against his partner’s will that could result in pregnancy is disgusting.  The woman will bear the majority of the repercussions of an unwanted pregnancy--the changing of her body, the disruption to her work, the psychological burden of considering (and possibly going through with) abortion or adoption.  It is so incredibly selfish.  I’m glad its a crime in Sweden.  It should be a crime in more places.

And, by that token, I am shocked and angry about they way the reverse, but equally reprehensible, situation was handled in the book.  It had me fuming all night, and I couldn’t sleep I was so angry.  I guess this has helped stoke the flames of my current black mood.

OK, so enough of this heavy stuff.  I should discuss my progress on this diet.  After all, that’s what this blog is ostensibly about.  

I was reading up on symptoms and side effects of the low carb diet and the author was pointing out listlessness, headaches, and head-rushes as signs indicating that the body is switching from burning carbs/glycogen to burning fat for energy.  Since I’ve been feeling these things for the last week, I’m actually encouraged that the change is taking place.  And today I haven’t been feeling hungry at all.  So, maybe I’m turning a corner.  

Mood:  Frustrated!
Jeans:  Fat jeans
Belt notch:  5th notch in

Food	Carbs (g)	Fat (g)	Calories	Protein
Parma ham (2 slices)	0	3.4	58
Hard-boiled egg	trace	7.6	103
Chipolata sausages	0.7	18.6	225	13.3
Tomatoes	6.2	0.6	40	1.4
Smoked salmon	1.8	21.8	390	46.4
Cream cheese	2.9	11	155	11
M&S salad with french dressing	5.9	11.1	125	2
Portobello burger	trace	14.8	228.8	23.9
Broccoli	4.5	0.3	43.4	5.9