Once again work has been creeping along. My manager is out of town, which in some ways makes it better but also makes it worse. If he were here I might have stuff to do, but since he isn’t I’m trying to find ways to occupy myself. Today that hasn’t been too difficult. This afternoon has been a whirlwind of activities related to my move. My flatmate and I are moving all of one block away in a couple of days. Now, this didn’t seem like a big deal, but I started writing a list of to-dos and the stress is setting in. Today I ordered Internet and started changing some of my addresses. I tried to set up mail redirection but damn Royal Mail isn’t recognizing me so I have to go in person with two forms of ID. Fun fun fun. Tonight I’m going to have to start packing--ahhhhhhhhhhh!
The other highlight of my Tuesday is the Dear Prudence column in Slate. The column appears on Mondays and Thursdays--Monday is a live chat transcript and Thursday is the regular column. Since Slate is an American publication, I usually can’t see the transcript until late Monday night, so I save it for a break during work on Tuesdays as a treat.
The other week the chat was pushed back a day because of a US public holiday. I searched in vain for it all day Tuesday and was nearly driven to self-harm when I realized I couldn’t read it until Wednesday. Pretty irrational, huh?
I think my love affair with Dear Prudence has the same roots as why people enjoy trashy chat shows. Part of it is the voyeurism--catching glimpses of people’s lives and problems, often scandalous or titillating ones like adultery or kinky fetishes. Another part of it is schadenfreude. Some people’s lives really suck, and you get to feel the relief of “glad that’s not me” or “idiot, you deserved that.” Which leads into the judgement. You get to judge people! And not feel bad about it! And feel superior! God, so far it sounds like advice columns bring out the worst in me.
But there is another side. For about half of the letters, I have no clue what advice to offer or I know that my advice is definitely wrong. So, reading advice columns is an education.
Now, I’ve known for years that I suck at giving advice. I’m happy to be a supportive friend and listen to my friends’ problems and concerns, but please don’t make it awkward and ask me what I think. I have no fucking clue. To all my friends to whom I’ve given advice, sorry, it was bullshit and you should have ignored me.
Why am I so bad at giving advice? I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, and I think I’ve boiled it down to two things:
1) I’m a horrible judge of character
2) I over-complicate things, much like my mother over-complicates adding an attachment to an email (Simple, right? But not to the over-60 crowd.)
When I meet someone I usually get a vibe off them--whether I like them, if I trust them, and so on. However, in my experience, this initial impression is wrong. A lot. Luckily I don’t let my initial impressions dominate my interactions with people, so there’s time for me to get a better understanding of their character and change my mind if need be. This is a good thing in that I have some amazing friends that I didn’t like all that much at first. (Not telling who.) But it can also burn me when I trust people who end up being creeps.
I think I’m not a great judge of character because I’m bad a reading people. In the past I’ve been over-sensitive, interpreting behaviour negatively when nothing was intended. I guess I can be a bit selfish and I really need to work on seeing things from other peoples’ perspectives and understanding their motivations. Because I know that I’m not empathetic, I think I try too hard to see things from their side, over-complicating the issues in the process and turning it all into a muddle.
To be fair, once I’ve gotten to know someone and I think I’ve figured out something about them I do feel confident in my assessments. It just takes a really long time. In some cases years. Some people are still mysteries to me.
So, what have we learned today? Never ask my advice and, if you do, do the opposite of whatever I say. This concludes this public service announcement.
Mood: Cheerful but increasingly feeling stressed
Jeans: Fat jeans
Belt notch: 5th notch in
| Food | Carbs (g) | Fat (g) | Calories | Protein |
| Hard-boiled eggs | trace | 15.2 | 206 | |
| Bacon | 2 | 11 | 166 | 14.6 |
| Tuna salad w/ mayo | 0.4 | 22.8 | 370 | 41 |
| 1/2 Bell Pepper | 5.12 | 0.32 | 28 | 0.8 |
| Salad | 5.9 | 11.1 | 125 | 2 |
| Parma ham (2 slices) | 0 | 3.4 | 58 | |
| Brie (40g) | 0.32 | 9.68 | 118 | 7.2 |
| Chicken Thighs | 0 | 24.8 | 395 | 40.1 |
| Spinach | 1.7 | 0.9 | 30 | 3.1 |
| Asparagus | 2 | 0.6 | 25 | 2.9 |
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